“Our children are trying to kill us…”
That’s what I groaned to Mark as I angrily pried myself from bed at 6:20am this morning. I went to bed with wishful thinking that I’d be in bed come 7am and I might get through the night with only one wake-up call. Wrong. Piper was wanting to nurse the second my head hit the pillow it seemed (11pm). And then at 3am. And up at 6:20am. Fine. Not great, but I’ll live. It was the 3 visits into Shea’s room as she screamed for the most random reasons – one time thinking she lost a sticker (what sticker, dude?) and once because the tower of books in the corner of her crib fell over (duh, yo!). The 3rd visit was at 5:20am when she was up for the day (!?) and the cherry on top – the dog coming up to be let out at 6:25am.
Some days are marathons.
So, today was the day I has designated as “POTTY TRAINING DAY!” and this weekend, “POTTY TRAINING WEEKEND!” I thought we started strong after one little accident, but we quickly went through all 6 pairs of Minnie Mouse panties and had multiple accidents on carpet.
Things got even better when Shea was sitting in Piper’s (cloth) glider and she just had that look about her.
“Shea, do you need to go potty?” …”NO!”…”Shea, let’s go sit on the potty!”…”NO!”….”Shea, I think you need to go potty, c’mon baby.”…
I lost it, you guys. My voice hurts from screaming and I did what I never, ever, ever, ever, ever thought I’d do in a million years – I gave her a little spank. Cue all the tears and mommy guilt.
She went to sob uncontrollably in her room as I cleaned up and Piper continuously rolled from back to belly only to get downright MAD within seconds every time. I return to cleaning, Piper rolls over, I rescue her a moment later…rinse, repeat. I cried. I was so frustrated with the situation and downright disgusted with my loss of control with Shea. I hated myself in that moment. After we both calmed down, I pulled her to me, hugged, kissed, and explained in a loving tone why I was so upset. I told her that mommy was wrong and that hands are for gentle touches. And I asked her to forgive me to which she quickly replied, “Ya. Mommy sorry. Love me.” Once again, cue all the tears.
I learned in a leadership course yesterday that patience is my biggest weakness as a leader. But I’m ashamed to say that that weakness spills over into my home life and with my beautiful girls.
It’s 1:41pm, and the girls just blessed me with 1 hour and 35 minutes of quiet – both asleep at the same time. I took a mental health trip to the treadmill, showered, and am finally eating lunch while confessing my potty training failures on my little corner of the web. But, I need to go get my little Piper who just awoke.
Please tell me I’m not a horrible parent! Or, please help me become a better parent and make it through tough days and challenges like potty training. Please give me pointers on how to remain patient and to see the world in the eyes of a little person so that I can be more patient and show much more grace. <3 Woof. This parenting stuff ain’t easy.