Family Friday (vol. 62): Short Fuse

I’m ashamed to admit I’ve been irritable, moody, and short fused lately. And I’m definitely taking it out on my husband and children. I cannot wait to leave work each day to see the girls, but every day I’m greeted with tears, tantrums, defiance, and clingy-ness. From 5-8pm, I’m in full-on survival mode. I’m enjoying little-to-none of the portion of my day I spend with my kids and it makes me sad and mad with myself all at the same time.

It’s not them. It’s me. I mean, they’re 3 and 1, what can I expect?

Piper is learning her first words (so far she consistently says “hi” and “all done”) but cries non-stop until I hold her the second she sees me. My back HURTS from those phase. And Shea has transitioned into a fibber, a poor sharer, and unwilling to listen. THE TEARS, OMG. Discipline is exhausting. Yet it’s hard to know at times how much is acceptable and how exactly to deal with poor behavior. I question my decision making every day, all day…and still, I feel like I’m failing miserably.

Everyone forever says that they miss their life with children at these ages and while I can understand the truth behind the statements, the reality is hard to conceptualize. I was reading a book today that talked about motherhood and how she was fully engaged in every daily activity with her child – walks, baths, books, meals, bed. Bless her! I’m having to dig REALLY deep to find the glory in preparing vegetables that are refused, drawing bubbles baths that are dreaded, and the latest line of, “I don’t like you, you’re not my best friend.” Sigh.

A few nights ago I was trying to wrap a few Christmas gifts. I had Shea on my lap playing with the tape and drawing on the wrapping paper despite my instruction not to do so and Piper stealing the scissors to open and close in a dangerous motion. Over and over again. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin, had lost my cool about 20 minutes prior, and begged Mark to take them to the basement to play while I simply regrouped and calmed myself down.

Can Santa bring me patience for Christmas? Because that’s the one gift I really need! Is this normal? Be honest! How can I enjoy my family a bit more?

Be well,

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6 Comments

  1. December 23, 2017 / 10:15 am

    No real advice, just know that this too shall pass. The holidays can Try anyone’s patience, we are all trying to do too much with too little time. Don’t be too tough on yourself!

  2. Amy
    December 23, 2017 / 10:33 am

    I hope Santa brings you some “you time”. You’re truly an inspiration. I don’t know how you work full-time in a management position, run a blog, exercise daily and feed your family homemade meals. Seriously super mom status!

    I think people tend to forget about the tough parts of parenting a toddler. I appreciate your honesty!

  3. Emilie
    December 23, 2017 / 11:03 am

    Oh I am right there with you!!!! My 8 year old has a major attitude problem and my 6 year old is queen of pickiness, whining, and tantrum-omg! Yes, 6 years old, in first grade. She has resorted back to being a toddler for the time being. My 8 month old is sweet as pie but up a lot at night so the exhaustion coupled with the other 2 is not a good combo! Did I mention we have had one kind of illness or another since the week before thanksgiving?!?! I about lost my ever living mind When the 6 year old woke up with pink eye yesterday! That would be the 5th type of illness going around our house in the last 6ish weeks? I keep telling myself this is an off year and next year will be much much better! Right?! Hang in there momma!!!! I’m sure you’re doing the best you can. Hugs to you!!!!

  4. Cindy
    December 24, 2017 / 3:55 pm

    Trust me every Mom has shared your feelings and experienced those moments. It’s so hard to do it all. Give yourself the gift of letting it go and know that tomorrow is a new day. It’s okay to ask for help. We all need it ! Sending you wishes for a peaceful holiday season! Thank you for all the service you provide your readers !

  5. Stephanie
    January 5, 2018 / 9:25 am

    I’m way late on this post, but I’m right there with you. Some nights it’s really hard to deal with my 4 year old and 6 month old on top of working (more than) 40 hours, cooking, cleaning and getting life done. I don’t know how anyone stays fully engaged in the minutiae of life with small kids – it’s hard!

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